"Milly broke the toaster again"

Milly, after many attempts (of which I stress greatly) of trial and error has become a toast connoisseur. She repeatedly broke the toaster by pre preparing the bread and and then toasting not only the bread but the topping too. In conjunction with ever-growing spreading skills you would  find half a pound of jam and 2/3 of a tub of margarine dolloped across 2 slices of Tesco value white slice and rammed into the toaster. This would be followed by and acrid burning smelling, if you were lucky the fire alarm would go off but usually it would just short circuit the whole house and one destroyed toaster.

I do like baking and making bread. You don't bake bread by slice. You bake it by loaf which has to be sliced. Milly knows she is banned from the toaster without supervision but she never listens. We have seriously gone through about 10 Basics toasters. So she decided to slice off some of my home made bread. She does  cut  a regular size but uses her primitive knife skills and a butter knife ( because she's not allowed to use anything other knives) to hack off a 2 slices each the size of my fist. The kitchen gets filled with smoke. The 2 dry piece of wholemeal is up in flames about a foot high, and starts licking the kitchen unit above it. The fire alarm goes off, the whole house short circuits, Milly sits in the corner rocking and my Neighbour gets all flustered and calls the Fire brigade.

Milly sticks to sandwiches only now.